Whatever happened to Ladies Foundations?

It has been a minute since I visited last... I have been spending a lot of time in an introspective mood. Here are some of this week's many observations.

One Word.... SPANX!

Does anyone own a full length mirror any more? If I came away with one thing from my mother (in addition to the values and moral code mandated to me), it was present yourself well. It goes a long way. Especially for those of us of color. Yes my mother is a product of a time when women wore girdles and night cream to bed but, I think some of those "archaic" ideals transcend time...


Ladies, no one wants to see your lumps and bumps, bra straps, panty lines, cleavage, monkey paw...! You get the point? Yuck!

Sagging...

Young men, Trust me when I say no one wants to see (I am going to relent to vulgarity here) your ASS unless you are poised seductively in your birthday attire, and possibly not even then! If you only knew the origin of the trend, you wouldn't be sagging unless well, you swing the other way.

Inner and Outer Beauty & Health

There are many studies that prove that obesity is now a disease, yet I find it amazing the number of men, women, and children I see on a daily basis that are morbidly obese. I do not fall into this category and I am not passing judgment but simply making an observation. In fact, for many years (and to a certain extent, even now) I struggled with what society sees as perfection.

As a dancer I felt and lived that scrutiny every day. At one point  in my student career, I was all of 120 lbs of muscle and lean mass and subjected to weekly "weigh ins". Each time I was reminded that I was "overweight". Forget that muscle weighs more than fat!  A strong wind could have blown me away and yet it took many years after I stopped dancing professionally to give up covering my "Fat" with black garments if only for a small period of time.

What have I taken away from my experiences?

No matter which end of the weight spectrum one falls, if one is truly at an unhealthy weight, it is one thing to have only one's self to answer to. When an unhealthy lifestyle impacts an entire family, one really has to wonder where the priorities for healthy live are! Do what you want to your own body but when you bring children up in the dysfunction that is food addiction and body dysmorphia, something is wrong.

People who have no Home Training...Damn it! Nuf said!

And what the heck is Sexting?

Who in their sane mind would send another person questionable photos of themselves? Oh wait... I am not 16 without a clue of how life can be impacted by choices you make. So... where are the parents? You can't tell me they are so far removed from what their children are doing or... maybe they are... The charges that can be leveled against a minor caught sexting can label them sex offenders for life! I agree that the punishment doesn't fit the offense ( I won't say crime because who didn't play "I'll show you mine" growing up and that surely wasn't criminal) but if SEX was not labeled indecent and the lines of communication were open, kids would have some sense of morality and the impact their sexual choices make on their lives. 

Get over it!

Kids are practicing sexual behavior at 9 and 10 that most of us in our 40's didn't see before our teens (and late teens at that)! Parents, talk to your kids about sex - in a medicinal way, you know the mechanics. Then talk about how important it is to be with someone you care about, then mix in the deal about remaining chaste, if that is your belief. It has been proven time and time again, that teaching one with out the other does not work. Look at good ol' Bristol Palen... that should make you rethink your course of action right there. It is great she did the "right thing" by keeping her child, if that is where your beliefs fall, but can you imagine if she had been given more information than simply waiting until marriage how different her life would be. Perhaps she would have a child for the right reason at the right time in her life and not because she wasn't properly educated.  For those of you who are now incensed, calm down and really think about it. Think about where you would be now if you could go back and make the life choices you've made all over again armed with all the information you know now.

Call these gripes, annoyances, observations, whatever but sometimes I really think that with all the advances we've made technologically, we've lost a great deal in translation.


Limit the TV.
Limit the Internet.
Have dinner together as a family, whatever your family dynamic.


Talk to your kids about what is going on in their lives, with their friends, ask them what they think about their world and the world at large... you'll be surprised at how many of your values have actually stuck!


Volunteer in your community. Practice your Faith... Get real, educate your children. Arm them with information! It is for their greater good! There is no room for embarrassment when it comes to opening the lines of communication with your kids. If I remember correctly, all they want is honesty. They want to know that you are human and that you have had the same misgivings they have. Trust me, if I still believed that an orgasm was like a sneeze (my mom's words when I asked her), I'd be in a world of hurt right about now!

I'll end this entry with a small nugget of wisdom... It is OK to be real, frank and honest especially if it will save the life of someone you love but more importantly, if it in some way touches the lives of those you don't know.

Peace